Burn Black

That ain't a vulture, that's a fucking pigeon…

Too Much Info?

giphy

For the last decade I’ve been using the Mirena coil as my contraceptive as choice.  This was mostly due to the fact that my time of the month was quite frankly a horrific and painful ordeal (like seriously, anemia inducing) and secondly because I was rubbish at remembering to take the pill.  I know some ladies who’ve had problems with the Mirena, but for me it worked a treat and it was ace to not have to worry about periods or babies for five years at a time.

Last October I had my last one taken out and decided against getting it replaced.  I figured that, since I’m 36, if I want to have kids at any point in my life I was going to obviously have to think long and hard about it, and essentially get a move on.  With this in mind I also thought it would probably take a while for my body to go back to normal too.

Since then I’ve had the occasional spotting but no “official” period until two days ago and seriously… What the hell???  I’m bloated, to the point I look pregnant I’m that swollen.  I feel as weak as a kitten and as if I’ve been kicked in the gut.  I’m also exhausted and am craving iron rich foods, probably due to the gallons of blood I’m losing on an hourly basis.  Obviously my memory has blocked out how traumatic being on the rag actually is and quite frankly it sucks!

Also how bloody (pardon the pun) expensive is it?  I’ve spent a small fortune so far on drugs and heat pads (both are essential, trust me).  I’m not one for tampons either and it seems that decent sanitary pads are a) expensive and b) constantly need changing.  It get’s better. I’m paying 5% tax too as the EU still classes sanitary products as “luxury items” (there’s a petition to get this abolished here).  Like pardon my ignorance but what else are us ladies supposed to do/use?

I’m all for looking into alternatives but in the meantime I’m off to curl into a ball and drink a fuck load of sugary tea.  Here’s hoping next month won’t be as bad *fingers crossed*.

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