Overindulgence and heavy partying normally leads to feeling as if Death himself decided to do ten rounds with you in a ring when you wake up the next day.  I’ve noticed that the older I’m getting the longer and more painful the hangovers are.

In my early 20’s hangovers were but a mere myth.  I would easily go out, get rather trollied, go clubbing and be at my desk the next morning bright eyed and bushy tailed.  At the very most I may have needed a coffee.  Nowadays however a hangover will mean that I’m lucky if I see the afternoon of the next day and even then if I’m not vomiting it’s a major plus.  A typical bender will leave me ill for about 2 days now and although I have it sussed where I can normally stop before it gets that bad, sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men go up the proverbial shitter as soon as someone mentions shots.

Therefore this is a list of my favourite hangover cures for you all to try out as/when applicable.  I hope you never have to use it, however the only way I can guarantee that you wont, is if you don’t drink in the first place and if you’re willpower is anything like mine…

*  Before you go out eat something.  Make it something stodgy too.  Anything that’s going to line your stomach.  Research indicates the fattier the meal the better.

*  Make yourself neck about 2 pints of water before you go to bed, more if you can.  I’ve found that this will either eliminate or lessen the after effects.  Even if I have to stay up and go to the toilet another 3 times during the night it will be worth it the next day.  Bonus points if you are semi conscious enough to brush your teeth/take your make up off too.

*  Sleep.  Lots of it.

*  Fizzy Lucozade (it’s full of electrolytes that your body needs, even more so if you’ve been vomiting).  Did you know it was invented by a fellow Northerner?  My favourite is the orange flavour.

*  Fizzy Fanta.  None of this zero sugar lark.  I normally need the full fat stuff, if anything to help with the shakes.

*  Food.  When I have a hangover I normally only crave either of two things:  Pizza or Eggs.  I love the fact that I can order a pizza without even ringing up thanks to Domino’s website.  If you go down this route it’s worth looking online for money off vouchers.  My hangover pizza normally only consists of cheese, onion, mushrooms and possibly sweetcorn.  If a pizza is too much of a challenge then egg on toast is a good call too (boiled/scrambled/fried) or a banana.

*  If food is a complete no no then a mug of vegetable bouillon is pretty good too, purely because it helps replenish some of the salt and potassium you’ve lost due to the alcohol.  I’d never even considered this before until I read it elsewhere and I tried it and it definitely helped.

*  A shower.  If I’m able too I’ll throw myself into the shower where I’ll wash my hair (and the smell of cigarettes away) and myself.  Sometimes it may take all my strength to climb into it and I will just stand there for half an hour whilst I try and muster the very basic of motor skills whilst drinking the shower water (yes really) but once I’m dressed and dried I normally feel so much better.

*  I’m rather scared of taking pain killers when hungover.  I’m allergic to aspirin and a doctor friend once advised that taking Paracetamol is rather dangerous as it gives your already overworked liver even more work to do.  So I normally just do without.  At the very most I’ll either have a sachet or two of Dioralyte and/or maybe some Motilium to settle my tummy.

*  A good TV series, either a box set of something on Netflix.  I have to admit when my attention span is rubbish I’d rather watch a TV series than a film so that if I fall asleep during, I won’t have to rewatch the whole thing.  My TV show of choice at the moment has to be American Horror Story.

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Glamour Massacre by Silvio Giordano

It’s took some doing but I’m now officially a non smoker.  I decided back in June that, as a woman nearing her mid 30’s that enough was enough and I set July 1st as my quit date.  I had an arsenal of patches, gum and inhalers at my disposal from previous attempts to quit along with an electronic cigarette I’d bought “just to try” so figured I had all the tools I needed and then some and that there were no excuses.

In July I mostly used the patches, the gum and the e-cig and in honesty I found it a doddle.  No cravings, nothing.  I do know some people don’t like the patches for whatever reasons but for me they were a God send.  I had no cravings nor thought about smoking whilst wearing them.  Once I had ran out of the patches (I had a month or so’s worth) I then just relied on good old will power and the e-cig as and when I needed it which was around once a week (usually around alcohol and friends who smoke).  Nowadays I carry the electronic cigarette around with me but bar the odd social event involving alcohol I never seem to use it and in honesty I’m comfortable with this.  Eventually I will quit that too but in the grand scheme of things I rarely go out drinking so this isn’t too much of an issue.  Truth is I can’t really be bothered with drinking excessive amounts these days either.  My alcohol tolerance has practically flatlined and I’m finding that after 2 drinks I’ve pretty much had my fill.  I’ve been out clubbing maybe 4 times this year in comparison to the 1-2 times a week I used to and I never go to the pub “for just the one” after work etc. that I practiced on a nearby daily basis.

Reading all the above makes out that I was the very picture of perfection however which isn’t true.  I did slip up twice but the important thing is that I got back on the wagon and I learnt from my mistakes.  The benefits of quitting so far?  cardio at the gym is easier and I’m saving around £70+ a month which quite frankly is not to be sniffed at.

Today marks the 97th day since I quit.

The older I’m getting the more I’ve slowly been reducing the amount of cigarettes I smoke.  Whilst at uni it wasn’t uncommon for me to go through 20 a day, more if I went out drinking in the evening (no smoking ban then however).  Back in 2007-2008 I successfully quit smoking for 9-10 months until the stresses of coming out of an 8-9 year relationship and finishing my degree became too much and I stupidly picked up the evil weed again.  I’ve smoked ever since, despite a few attempts here and there to quit that haven’t lasted more than a few weeks.

As of late anything up to 10 a day was considered the norm, 20 if I went out, maybe less.  Nowadays I can easily not smoke on a day to day basis and the only time temptation ever rears it’s head is when alcohol is involved.  These days I’m finding this excuse pitiful however and what with me also cutting down on the amount of alcohol I consume (I’m 33 and hangovers are just not funny anymore, not when they can last up to 3 days) figured it’s high time to end my relationship with the fags.  I’ve tried patches, gum, etc. in the past but this time I’m finding the good old “Cold Turkey” method is working just fine.  I say this but I will be taking some gum out with me next time I go out socialising.  I have no idea why I can’t let go of this booze + snouts = HEAVEN equation, maybe I just think “everything to excess” when it comes to alcohol.  I can’t go straight edge, nor do I want to so any suggestions would be welcomed.  I’ll have been “smoke free” for 3 weeks come Friday.  In honesty it’s been a piece of piss but then again I’ve only had two G&T’s and a glass of wine in all of that time.

p.s. The Stoptober app is rubbish.  I’ve signed up to it twice now and still haven’t received an email.  The app keeps crashing whenever I open it on my phone too.I can’t believe someone will have been paid a fortune for that.

At the beginning of the year I suffered my first gallstone attack and a scan back in January more or less confirmed that I needed to get my gallbladder removed.  In the time since I’ve started going to the gym and watching what I ate.  I went back to a vegetarian diet (actually I’m practically vegan these days) and I’ve lost over a stone in weight which is all great steps for healthy living in my book but I still suffered from these attacks with each one being more painful then the last.  At the beginning of August my boyfriend and I went out to see a friends band one Friday night and ended up in A&E after an attack caught me off guard.  Still free morphine and I was *just* well enough to go to Bloodstock the next weekend which was nice.

A couple of weeks later I ended up in A&E again only this time via ambulance and not taxi.  This time I was kept in overnight and sufficiently doped up to the eyeballs (best high of my life hahaha).  The next day I was asked if I would like my gallbladder took out that day.  My reply “HELL YEAH!!!!” and so I’ve been recovering ever since, missing out on a trip to London and a Lady Gaga gig in the process.  This is my last week on sick leave and yes it has been nice to relax and not have to worry if each mouthful of food was going to create agonising pain but fuck me I’m bored now.  My flat has never been so clean, also I’m purely on the bones of my arse due to being on sick so I literally cannot wait to get back to work and earn some moolah.

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