Burn Black

That ain't a vulture, that's a fucking pigeon…

Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

Operation Frugality: Week 3.

I was determined to make this week a week of low spendage, especially after last week but I didn’t manage, far from it in fact.  Firstly my mobile phone stopped letting me make or receive phone calls unless I had the speaker on and there’s some conversations you just don’t want the world to hear when you’re in the middle of Tesco’s.  Therefore I had to get an upgrade, it seems that current events have gotten the best of me as of late too…

Monday 13th January – Nothing.

Tuesday 14th January – I’ve had a lot of things going on and as a result my plate has had lots on it.  As a result the emotional crutch that I’ve tried so hard to avoid has once again stuck it’s nicotine stained claws into me and I bought a packet of cigarettes which cost £7.70.  I also needed a lighter 90p.  Great eh?

Wednesday 15th January – Nothing.

Thursday 16th January – This is the day I finally had enough with regards to my mobile.  A short trip to the phone shop and I had a brand new iPhone 5s and had to pay £49.99 upfront.  I also needed a new screen protector and cover as my one from my iPhone 4 are too fat now.  I bought this bling one from eBay for £5.99.  Since I’m running out of ideas as to what I can make in the house and emotional drainage making me unmotivated to do pretty much nothing at home I ended up buying lunch too £4.10.  A bad day really.

Friday 17th January – It’s my birthday next week and since the Kurt Geiger shoes from last week were far too high for me (I gave them to a friend who I’ll know will make them her bitch) I ended up buying a dress (£25.44) and a replacement pair of heels (£54.94 – In fairness I have wanted these FOR YEARS) for when I go out in a fortnights time.  I think totally unnecessary but these are staple items that I’ll get lots of wear out of therefore feel semi-justified.  Plus did I mention it was my birthday soon???

Saturday 18th January –  I bought V and I a meal from M&S after work (£15.61) and some fags (£7.70).  I could have probably done without but my nerves are still shot and after all the shit I’ve had to pick the scab from and go through this week I felt we both needed a treat, especially since V has proven himself a rock as of late.  Plus I figured it would be cheaper than a takeaway.

Sunday 19th January – Nothing.

So yeah.  Out of all the above I pretty much feel justified in buying the phone, the dress and the shoes.  The fags would probably come next.  I am pretty much livid with myself for letting things get to me that much but I’m sure once it’s all over as will my useage of them also.  All in all a really bad week.  Total Spends:  £172.37.  It would appear that when depressed I’m not only an emotional smoker but a shopper too. :0/


A Recap on 2013…

Ahhh New Years.  Where optimism and positivity probably run the highest in comparison to the rest of the year.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  Positive changes can happen whenever, you really don’t have to wait until NYE to start.  Saying that however I’m as guilty as the next person but I did actually make some positive changes last year and I have ones I want to do this year too.  So here’s a recap on 2013:

I did struggle a lot in 2013.  Both in my personal and working life.  I quit smoking which I’m still doing pretty well at despite being rather naughty over Christmas.  I am firmly back on the wagon now and haven’t had any since NYE and plan on keeping it that way.

I also started (and stopped) going to the gym more regularly.  The fact V enrolled as well kept both our motivations in this respect quite high, that was until he damaged his shoulder and therefore couldn’t go for a while and I in turn, then made excuses along the lines of “not wanting to go on my own” and alongside doing extra shifts at work meant that this once enjoyable and great habit slipped into a distant memory for both of us.  I didn’t start running and didn’t go back to kickboxing either which quite frankly sucked.

I did try Veganism though, and lasted just over 4 months.  I wish I could fully commit to this lifestyle but I  just can’t.  Instead I’m quite happy to remain a Vegetarian who tries her best which means although I will eat a lot of vegan friendly food at home with exception to the occasional tray of eggs (which I get from my Mum’s friend who keeps ducks/hens) and the odd indulgent cheese board, Outside of home however it’s a free for all.  Non animal friendly cosmetics and clothing etc. will still be avoided as much as possible.

I did declutter a lot in 2013 as well.  With eBay, Amazon and local charity shops all helping me dispose of items I no longer wanted.  I still have a large cardboard box full of stuff to go but its getting there.  I’m actually quite pleased with what I did actually accomplish in this aspect.

My finances are somewhat healthier now too.  Not immaculate but definitely better.  Already in 2014 I’ve started saving small amounts of money each month and have joined the pension scheme at work.  Both little jobs that I’ve been putting off for ages but will be well worth it in future.  Still in a little bit of debt but I’m going to really try and tackle that this year.

On top of this my working life has resembled somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster too.  I hammered the final coffin nail into DJ’ing due to various reasons which I’ll probably go into in a future post if I ever feel the need to let off some steam.  That and certain aspects at my day job meant that my ego came out of 2013 feeling rather bruised and battered.  Trying to turn to the positive however I have learnt a lot of lessons too so it’s not all bad and I quote:

“Your heart is the only beating you will survive and though it may take some time to trust it, it has never let you down.”

How was 2013 for you?

Banishing The Evil Weed…

fagsGlamour Massacre by Silvio Giordano

It’s took some doing but I’m now officially a non smoker.  I decided back in June that, as a woman nearing her mid 30’s that enough was enough and I set July 1st as my quit date.  I had an arsenal of patches, gum and inhalers at my disposal from previous attempts to quit along with an electronic cigarette I’d bought “just to try” so figured I had all the tools I needed and then some and that there were no excuses.

In July I mostly used the patches, the gum and the e-cig and in honesty I found it a doddle.  No cravings, nothing.  I do know some people don’t like the patches for whatever reasons but for me they were a God send.  I had no cravings nor thought about smoking whilst wearing them.  Once I had ran out of the patches (I had a month or so’s worth) I then just relied on good old will power and the e-cig as and when I needed it which was around once a week (usually around alcohol and friends who smoke).  Nowadays I carry the electronic cigarette around with me but bar the odd social event involving alcohol I never seem to use it and in honesty I’m comfortable with this.  Eventually I will quit that too but in the grand scheme of things I rarely go out drinking so this isn’t too much of an issue.  Truth is I can’t really be bothered with drinking excessive amounts these days either.  My alcohol tolerance has practically flatlined and I’m finding that after 2 drinks I’ve pretty much had my fill.  I’ve been out clubbing maybe 4 times this year in comparison to the 1-2 times a week I used to and I never go to the pub “for just the one” after work etc. that I practiced on a nearby daily basis.

Reading all the above makes out that I was the very picture of perfection however which isn’t true.  I did slip up twice but the important thing is that I got back on the wagon and I learnt from my mistakes.  The benefits of quitting so far?  cardio at the gym is easier and I’m saving around £70+ a month which quite frankly is not to be sniffed at.

Today marks the 97th day since I quit.


The older I’m getting the more I’ve slowly been reducing the amount of cigarettes I smoke.  Whilst at uni it wasn’t uncommon for me to go through 20 a day, more if I went out drinking in the evening (no smoking ban then however).  Back in 2007-2008 I successfully quit smoking for 9-10 months until the stresses of coming out of an 8-9 year relationship and finishing my degree became too much and I stupidly picked up the evil weed again.  I’ve smoked ever since, despite a few attempts here and there to quit that haven’t lasted more than a few weeks.

As of late anything up to 10 a day was considered the norm, 20 if I went out, maybe less.  Nowadays I can easily not smoke on a day to day basis and the only time temptation ever rears it’s head is when alcohol is involved.  These days I’m finding this excuse pitiful however and what with me also cutting down on the amount of alcohol I consume (I’m 33 and hangovers are just not funny anymore, not when they can last up to 3 days) figured it’s high time to end my relationship with the fags.  I’ve tried patches, gum, etc. in the past but this time I’m finding the good old “Cold Turkey” method is working just fine.  I say this but I will be taking some gum out with me next time I go out socialising.  I have no idea why I can’t let go of this booze + snouts = HEAVEN equation, maybe I just think “everything to excess” when it comes to alcohol.  I can’t go straight edge, nor do I want to so any suggestions would be welcomed.  I’ll have been “smoke free” for 3 weeks come Friday.  In honesty it’s been a piece of piss but then again I’ve only had two G&T’s and a glass of wine in all of that time.

p.s. The Stoptober app is rubbish.  I’ve signed up to it twice now and still haven’t received an email.  The app keeps crashing whenever I open it on my phone too.I can’t believe someone will have been paid a fortune for that.